Appreciation as Feedback

Usually, when I start talking about feedback, folks envision the evaluative feedback they receive or deliver. You know, stuff like annual reviews or the frustrated "This is full of typos, please be more careful," fired off in quick emails. However, the science on feedback tells us that there are three types of feedback: evaluation, coaching, … Continue reading Appreciation as Feedback →

The Compliment Sandwich is Terrible

Conventional wisdom has always advocated giving difficult feedback in the form of a 'compliment sandwich.' Here's why you shouldn't do that.

My Rejection Wish List

Oh, you don't have one? Huh. Guess that's just me, then. Well, here's hoping that you don't have a Rejection Wish List for the simple reason that you haven't been rejected much. I, on the other hand, know exactly what I would ask of the Rejection Genie. I would like for people to do the … Continue reading My Rejection Wish List →

Feedback: Part 3 – Relationships

Our relationships with those who are giving us feedback are, obviously, an important factor in how we receive the feedback they give us. Thus, Stone and Heen's second "trigger" in their book, Thanks for the Feedback, is the "truth trigger." Here, I'll cover the two big pitfalls of feedback conversations caused by relationship triggers: switchtracking and the blame game. Switchtracking … Continue reading Feedback: Part 3 – Relationships →

Feedback: Part 2 – The Truth

See Feedback: Part I for a breakdown of Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. They outline three types of feedback (evaluation, coaching, and appreciation) and three "triggers" that make feedback hard to take (truth triggers, relationship triggers, and identity triggers). I'm going to cover Truth Triggers here; what they are, how to avoid it, … Continue reading Feedback: Part 2 – The Truth →

It’s that time: Annual Reviews

My annual review is coming up in January, and if it is anything like my six month review, I know I'll be asked to think about three things that I am good at and three areas for improvement. To put it bluntly, this self-evaluation is not my favorite thing to do. I always sit in … Continue reading It’s that time: Annual Reviews →

Feedback: Part I

Feedback does not begin and end in a one-on-one with your supervisor. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news! Feedback isn't even confined to conversations. Sometimes it is the projects you are, or are not, asked to tackle, the ideation sessions you are asked to join, or the lunch out with co-workers you aren't … Continue reading Feedback: Part I →