Conventional wisdom has always advocated giving difficult feedback in the form of a 'compliment sandwich.' Here's why you shouldn't do that.
Tag: communication
My Rejection Wish List
Oh, you don't have one? Huh. Guess that's just me, then. Well, here's hoping that you don't have a Rejection Wish List for the simple reason that you haven't been rejected much. I, on the other hand, know exactly what I would ask of the Rejection Genie. I would like for people to do the … Continue reading My Rejection Wish List
Feedback: Part 3 – Relationships
Our relationships with those who are giving us feedback are, obviously, an important factor in how we receive the feedback they give us. Thus, Stone and Heen's second "trigger" in their book, Thanks for the Feedback, is the "truth trigger." Here, I'll cover the two big pitfalls of feedback conversations caused by relationship triggers: switchtracking and the blame game. Switchtracking … Continue reading Feedback: Part 3 – Relationships
Yes, you really can say, “No” at work. Here’s how.
Say "No" when you notice that the same important task you've been putting at the top of your daily to-do list is still there.. four days later.
It’s Aubrey. With a B.
This rant is for those who get called all sort of names... that aren't theirs.
Ban busy
You know how some people feel about the word moist? I feel that way about the word busy. I hate the word and yet, I am guilty of using it all the time. "How are you?" "Busy. Busy, but good." That's awful. I just told my friend exactly nothing about what's going on in my life, … Continue reading Ban busy
Feedback: Part 2 – The Truth
See Feedback: Part I for a breakdown of Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. They outline three types of feedback (evaluation, coaching, and appreciation) and three "triggers" that make feedback hard to take (truth triggers, relationship triggers, and identity triggers). I'm going to cover Truth Triggers here; what they are, how to avoid it, … Continue reading Feedback: Part 2 – The Truth
It’s that time: Annual Reviews
My annual review is coming up in January, and if it is anything like my six month review, I know I'll be asked to think about three things that I am good at and three areas for improvement. To put it bluntly, this self-evaluation is not my favorite thing to do. I always sit in … Continue reading It’s that time: Annual Reviews
Feedback: Part I
Feedback does not begin and end in a one-on-one with your supervisor. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news! Feedback isn't even confined to conversations. Sometimes it is the projects you are, or are not, asked to tackle, the ideation sessions you are asked to join, or the lunch out with co-workers you aren't … Continue reading Feedback: Part I
Friday Reads: Difficult Conversations
Difficult Conversations blew my mind in graduate school. It has stuck with me ever since because of the simple way in which it lays out the core hurdles of difficult conversations of all kinds. It is an important read for anyone who has to have difficult conversations at work, and has played a major role in … Continue reading Friday Reads: Difficult Conversations
According to Aubs 